Vanessa Van EdwardsEvery podcast appearance, updated as new ones drop

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1987DM “Been busy?” is the worst question you can ask anyone. Vanessa Van Edwards says it sends the other person's brain hunting for negativity. They either list how exhausted they are or admit nothing is going on. No win. “What do you do?” comes second. Everyone has answered it so many times the brain stays on autopilot. Her fix when someone asks you: start with a c...

The questions you ask on autopilot might be the reason you feel lonely in a room full of people. Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral researcher who has studied master conversationalists for two decades, sat down with Lewis to talk about why so much of our talking leaves us empty. One in six people worldwide are affected by loneliness, and she believes the way we talk to AI is quietly changing the way we talk to each other. In her book Conversation, she lays out three levels of connection, from basic facts all the way up...

Are you sabotaging yourself with terrible communication habits and unconscious body language? Unlock the secrets of human connection to cultivate charisma, forge deeper connections, and eliminate awkward small talk for good. Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral researcher and the author of Cues , Captivate , and her new book, Conversation . She returns to decode the underlying dynamics that shape relationships, providing actionable techniques to bypass social autopilot. She helps master non-verbal cues to prevent communication friction from harming your career and personal life. In this episode, she explains: ■ The Conversation Blueprint: How to navigate the three distinct psychological levels of interaction ■ The Autopilot Trap: Why socially scripted questions like "How are you?" or "What do you do?" actually destroy connection. ■ The Mechanics of Rizz: The exact science behind conversational turn taking, why speaking for more than 45 seconds creates friction. ■ Command with Body Language: How to instantly project warmth and competence by finding your maximum resonance point. ■ The Five Story Archetypes: How to decode the psychological narratives of the people around you. Chapters 00:00:00 Intro 00:02:16 How to Connect With Anyone 00:03:25 Why Great Conversation Is a Superpower 00:06:46 The 3 Questions That Build Instant Connection 00:18:04 The Fastest Way to Build a Real Connection 00:23:50 How to Get to Know Someone Fast 00:32:46 Why Genuine Curiosity Makes You More Charismatic 00:35:37 The Questions That Secretly Kill Conversations 00:40:45 What’s Worse: Talking Too Much or Too Little? 00:44:20 How to Know If You Talk Too Much 00:45:27 How to Spot a Conversational Narcissist 00:48:39 Ads 00:55:16 How to Know If You’re a Conversational Narcissist 01:08:55 The Real Reason First Dates Go Wrong 01:13:52 Can You Go Too Deep Too Quickly? 01:18:08 How to Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself 01:22:55 The Psychology of Taking Control of Your Life 01:25:21 Ads 01:30:07 What Science Reveals About Luck and Success 01:36:09 The 5 Personality Archetypes Explained 01:42:41 Why Your Personality Changes How You Should Communicate 01:51:50 The Psychology of the “Unlucky Struggl

“We are now competing in conversation with someone’s feed.” Connecting with others requires more than knowing what to say. The signals we send through our body language, the questions we ask, and even where we position ourselves can shape how others experience a conversation. In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart , behavioral researcher and author of Cues and Captivate , Vanessa Van Edwards joins Matt Abrahams to explore the subtle cues that make communication more engaging. She shares strategies for navigating networking events, sparking more meaningful conversations, and signaling the warmth and competence that shape charisma and connection. Takeaways: Connection starts before you speak. Visible palms, eye contact, positioning, and other nonverbal cues can signal warmth and openness, shaping how others experience an interaction from the start. Better conversations spark curiosity. Moving beyond routine small talk with engaging questions, surprising stories, and genuine enthusiasm can make interactions more memorable and meaningful. Activity: Create a conversational feed. Start a note on your phone and collect three things from your week—a surprising moment, an interesting observation, or a small win. Bring one into your next networking event or meeting as “conversational confetti” instead of defaulting to routine small talk. Printable Expanded Takeaways & Activities Episode Reference Links: Vanessa Van Edwards Vanessa’s Books: Cues / Captivate Ep.301 Trust at First Sight: Create More Meaningful Connections Connect: Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>><a href="

“Communication is the number one way to remove friction.” If communication is the key to connection, then removing friction is what makes every interaction work. According to Vanessa Van Edwards , the most effective communicators aren’t just skilled with words—they know how to align their gestures, body language, and presence to make others feel at ease. A behavioral researcher and bestselling author of Captivate and Cues , Van Edwards studies the subtle signals that shape how we are perceived. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart , she joins Matt Abrahams to explore the hidden factors that influence communication, from purposeful gestures and expressive body language to the words, images, and visual cues that build trust and credibility. Takeaways: Great communication goes beyond words. Gestures, facial expressions, visual cues, and even the language we use in emails and meetings can either create friction or build trust, clarity, and connection. Focus on the other person, not yourself. By applying the Platinum Rule—treating others as they want to be treated—and intentionally putting people at ease, communicators can foster stronger relationships, deeper conversations, and greater influence. Activity: Practice the Platinum Rule. Before your next important conversation, meeting, or email, take one minute to answer: “What does this person need from me right now?” Then tailor your communication to their priorities, concerns, and preferred style—not your own. Afterward, reflect on how that shift changed the quality of the interaction. Printable PDF of Takeaways & Activity Episode Reference Links: Vanessa Van Edwards Vanessa’s Books: Cues / Captivate Ep.137 When Words Aren't Enough: How to Excel at Nonverbal Communication Connect: Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io Episode Transcripts >>><a href="https://www.fastersmarter.

Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word. Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike. Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction , she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to start learning them. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice + potentially cruel ➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced ➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you ➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills) ➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is ➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off ➡️ Why we’re all ambiverts + how to understand ambiversion ➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points ➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous. This… is A Bit of Optimism . + + + Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free. + + + To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction , head to: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/ Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis 00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert 00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills 00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go? 00:11:17 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone 00:14:17 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition 00:18:07 The Discomfort Problem: Why Young People Avoid Rather Than Adapt 00:21:33 Put the Shoes in the Box: The Art of Knowing When to Stop 00:34:54 Intention Matches Action: Defining Authenticity 00:46:56 The Power of Being Seen: How Love Changed Everything 00:49:51 The Ultimate Social Skill: Helping Others Feel Normal 00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like</l

My guest in this episode of the podcast is researcher, speaker and bestselling author Vanessa Van Edwards. Vanessa is one of the world’s leading experts in ‘people skills’ and interpersonal intelligence. She has over 2 million views on her TED talk, 600k subscribers on Youtube and her new book Cue teaches the reader how to master the secret language of charismatic communication. In the book, and throughout our conversation, Vanessa explains how to interpret, control and master these social signals to help you make an amazing impression at work and anywhere else you’d like to stand out - in the right way. I’d watched Vanessa’s TED talk and seen her in interviews and was fascinated, not only by what her research shows about how we interact with others, but how refreshing it was to hear her describe herself as a ‘recovering awkward person’.  Being around other people can be challenging, especially if you don’t feel confident and, as Vanessa describes, you can create a cycle in which you feel awkward, misinterpret the situation, feel more awkward, misinterpret the situation further and so on… If any of that sounds like you, then this episode is a must-listen because Vanessa breaks down how we can become a super cue-reading machine, how to recognise the different cues - non-verbal, vocal, verbal and imagery - and how to interpret them to not only make ourselves feel comfortable but to make the people around us feel comfortable too. She also explains how our own cues can tell the world how to treat us and how empowering learning that skill can be as well as why we should all ask ourselves, before any social interaction, ‘what is my social goal?’ plus she gives some hints about ones to think about if you’re not entirely sure. We also discuss narcissists, how to spot them and how to navigate away from them, toxic personalities, why you may be one of the many people who isn’t an extrovert or an introvert but is actually an ambivert and why being vulnerable isn’t a weakness Vanessa's book Cues is available now. To join the closed Facebook group for the podcast click here >> The Emma Guns Show Forum. To follow me on social media >> Twitter | Instagram. Sign up for my newsletter here >> Newsletter. Hey! Why not share your thoughts and insights to make your listening experience even better. Complete this listener survey to tell me what you want to hear: http://bit.ly/theemmagunsshow-survey Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Vanessa Van Edwards, bestselling author of Captivate, joins us to navigate friendships and relationships that may or may not spark joy. Vanessa Van Edwards is Lead Investigator at Science of People — where she unlocks the formulas and patterns behind human behavior for hundreds of thousands of students in over 200 countries. She is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, available in 14 languages around the world. We want to hear from you! Tell us your burning tidying questions or share stories about how KonMari has impacted your life. Find us at www.sparkjoypodcast.com and click “Ask Spark Joy” to leave a question or comment for a chance to be featured on next week’s show. While you’re there, sign-up to join our Spark Joy podcast community and get notified when each episode airs. You can also join the Spark Joy podcast community on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter at the handle @sparkjoypodcast. In this episode, you’ll enjoy: Vanessa's path to the study of human behavior from being a self-described recovering awkward person Vanessa's interview with Tom Bilyeu that addresses how fake or ambivalent friendships can steal your joy just as much as toxic ones The connection between your relationships with people and your KonMari journey Vanessa's tips on how to break up with a friend that addresses how fake or ambivalent friendships can steel our joy just as much as toxic ones The only personality trait study backed by science. Take the free OCEAN personality quiz here to see where you land and share your results with us! How being labeled neurotic can work in your favor and is a part of how your body responds to worry Vanessa's Ted Talk and research on how our hand gestures influence the way people digest the information Internal and external considerations that will help you get motivated to tidy by considering if it's a pain pill or a vitamin Why it's very important to fully explore how you worry and how you self calm Vanessa's favorite tidying tip: Allowing herself to only watch trashy TV while she is actively tidying. What sparks joy for Vanessa: Her newborn daughter Sienna. To connect with Vanessa, visit www.scienceofpeople.com . While you’re there, sign-up for People School . All the soft skills you wish you’d learned in school. Gems: -"You should be in control of every single relationship in your life." -"There are people in your life who you're constantly wondering, 'is this person good for me?'" -"Our hand gestures add depth to our ideas, and our thoughts, and our personalties." -"Our hands are our notes along with our words." -"Everyone deserves to have relationships that make them feel good." You can find Karin Socci at The Serene Home You can find Kristyn Ivey at For the Love of Tidy Special Guest: Vanessa Van Edwards.