
Harvard happiness researcher, author of From Strength to Strength
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Follow Arthur Brooks— it's freeFinding the right person is hard. Being attracted to the wrong one is just as common. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why some people find themselves stuck in the same dating patterns over and over again, pursuing partners who are unavailable, manipulative, emotionally destructive, or struggling with addiction. I explain why attraction can override good judgment, why certain personality types are especially alluring, and how to learn from past mistakes and create healthier patterns in love. This episode focuses on choosing the right person in the first place. If you haven't yet listened to my episode, 3 Rules to Fall in Love and Stay in Love , I recommend it as a companion to this conversation. Together, they offer a roadmap for both finding love and building a lasting relationship. — Brought to you by: • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:19) Why dating feels so difficult (06:29) Dating Groundhog Day (10:12) Attraction to unavailable people (15:25) Substance abuse (18:29) The Dark Triad (20:56) How the Dark Triad reels you in (25:52) Why we ignore red flags (27:19) Dating strategy #1: Stop relying on others' judgment (28:48) Dating strategy #2: Address your emophilia (30:16) Dating strategy #3: Expand your time horizon (32:10) Dating strategy #4: Don’t focus on looks and status (33:21) Dating str
Family estrangement is strangely common—affecting one-third of American adults today. While cutting ties can bring temporary relief, research suggests that, over time, it often resembles grief. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why family, one of the four pillars of happiness, is central to meaning, what is driving the rise in estrangement, and why conflicts over values and identity have become so difficult to repair. Most importantly, I discuss what it actually takes to mend broken relationships: the difference between healthy boundaries and permanent rupture, and the two qualities that help families overcome deep disagreement and stay connected. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:09) Why family estrangement feels so painful (15:57) How common is family estrangement (19:30) Why family estrangement happens (27:07) The rise of the “no-contact” movement (31:34) What the data shows about going no-contact (35:07) The two ingredients every family needs (36:20) What tolerance really means (37:43) Why forgiveness is essential in families (39:20) The hidden incentives behind encouraging family division (41:32) Q&A: Findi
We obsess over diets, fasting, and weight-loss drugs in the name of health. But we rarely ask a more important question: what kind of eating actually makes us happier? In this episode of Office Hours , I explore what the science say about the relationship between food and well-being. Eating gives us pleasure, but meals bring deeper enjoyment when they also combine people and memories. I explore what that means in practice along with seven other practical rules for “happy eating.” In the end, happiness at the table depends less on the food than the company. As my Spanish wife likes to say: the point of eating is not the food—it’s the love. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (09:55) Why eating is pleasurable—and why pleasure alone does not create happiness (13:56) Two ways to turn pleasure into enjoyment (17:12) How both positive and negative emotions influence eating (18:43) Why eating moderately often is linked to greater happiness (22:14) Dietary patterns associated with greater happiness (25:19) What the research shows about alcohol and well-being (28:16) Junk food’s impact on mood and well-being (30:08) The pros and cons of a vegetarian diet (32:19) Why crash diets are bad for your well-being and happiness <
Want to miss (or forget) life’s sweetest moments? Easy: don’t savor anything. My late mother, an artist, knew this was a terrible strategy for happiness. Through her art, she was an expert at savoring—and the first to teach me its benefits. In this episode of Office Hours , I connect her lesson to what we now know from behavioral science: because of our built-in negativity bias, we tend to overlook positive experiences unless we make an effort to notice them. I’ll share three simple ways to do that—so you can experience your life more deeply, remember it more clearly, and find meaning even in the hard moments. Want to go deeper on this—and other ideas from the podcast—and actually put them into practice? If you’re ready to do that work in person, I’ve partnered with MEA, a transformational science-backed retreat center, to bring these principles to life through a series of retreats in Santa Fe. You can find the details at retreats.arthurbrooks.com . — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (09:52) What savoring really is (10:39) How savoring affects your brain and body (14:54) How savoring shapes your memory (17:16) Negativity bias and why it’s hard to savor (20:18) #1: Savor in all three time zones (24:34) #2: Expand your savoring techniques (27:21) #3: How I do it–what are you looking forward to (29:12) How to savor difficult experiences to support growth (31:19) Q&A: Making space for relationships in a demanding season of work (32:39) Q&A: Finding a religion that resonates (34:08) Q&A: Finding a calling — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: <a href="http://themeaningofyourlife.com" target="_blank" rel="ugc noopener n
Grief is part of the human experience. If you love, you will lose. And when you do, the pain is inescapable. It can be disorienting, overwhelming, and in the case of acute grief, the symptoms can even resemble something like psychosis. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore what grief actually is, how it is lived and felt by those who are bereaved, and why these reactions—however unsettling—are not signs of dysfunction. They are, in fact, evidence of something profoundly good: the depth of our love and devotion to one another. The aim is not to eliminate grief—that is neither possible nor desirable—but to approach it with understanding. In doing so, we can move toward our suffering rather than away from it, extend compassion to others walking a similar path, and begin to discover meaning within our loss. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:13) The story of Itaru Sasaki’s wind phone (07:26) What grief is (09:33) Grief vs. bereavement (10:03) Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief and newer research (14:42) The brain’s response to grief (18:24) How long does it take to get through grief (20:45) Post-traumatic growth and the five areas that often improve (23:45) #1. Look for meaning (26:56) #2. Change your identity (29:15) #3. Adopt rituals (30:53) #4. Let yourself be happy again (32:10) #5. Help others with grief (34:10) Q&A: How failure helps your career (35:24) Q&A: Getting married in a church after leaving it (37:24) Q&A: Breaking the cycle of self-blame — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks<
Your professional calling is a mysterious idea. It’s the ineffable sense that you are meant to do something . Many people get tripped up in their pursuit of their calling, because they conceive of it like buried treasure—something hidden that they must find. In truth, your calling can be built no matter your present circumstances. So, how do you do it? In this episode, I explain how to move from chasing an objective career—titles, status, money—to building a more subjective one based on what you care about and what genuinely interests you. I also share three simple steps to help you evaluate and shape your calling. If you stick with them, you’ll be more likely to end up doing work that feels meaningful—and, in turn, you’ll get happier. If you want to go deeper, check out my book, The Meaning of Your Life . — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (02:19) How to find what you’re meant to do (04:15) Work-ism and workaholism (06:04) 4 habits of the happiest people (07:13) What can we learn about our callings from religion? (13:33) Subjective vs. objective careers (15:19) Work-life balance vs. work-life integration (18:05) A misconception people make: calling isn’t just unusual talent (19:39) How do you find your calling? (19:42) #1. Look within (22:41) #2. Focus on fascination (27:45) #3. Serve others (31:35) Q&A #1: How can you positively influence others? (33:34) Q&A #2: Is retracing a career path not making progress? (34:53) Q&A #3: How can we help teenagers build their own happiness habits? (35:50) Outro — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • 6 science-backed ways to raise happiness at work: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/6-science-backed-ways-to-raise-happi
Pre-order The Meaning of Your Life (out March 31). This is the final episode in my 3-part series on meaning, and it begins with a question I couldn’t ignore when I returned to campus five years ago: why do so many successful, driven people feel anxious, depressed, and lonely? In this episode, I share three real-life stories from my new book, The Meaning of Your Life . These stories reveal what’s missing—and why the problem isn’t a lack of enjoyment or satisfaction, but rather the third macronutrient of happiness, meaning . I finish by sharing the six protocols from my book to help you move beyond distraction and build a more meaningful life in six months. If you want to go deeper, I hope you’ll consider the book. — Brought to you by: Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (02:52) Recap of Part 1 and Part 2 (07:56) Why I wrote The Meaning of Your Life (14:37) The connection between lack of meaning, anxiety, and depression (17:05) Why case studies matter (19:43) Story #1: The garbage disposal (24:13) Story #2: Just stay busy (26:40) Story #3: A long hike to…somewhere (30:02) What these stories reveal (33:18) Six protocols from The Meaning of Your Life — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Why Your Perfect Life Feels So Empty (Sneak Peek): https://www.thefp.com/p/arthur-brooks-why-your-perfect-life-feels-so-empty • The Happiness Scale: <a href="https
Most of us hate waiting. Whether it’s standing in line, sitting in traffic, or waiting for a delayed flight, those idle moments feel irritating and pointless. Our instinct is to escape them as quickly as possible, almost always by reaching for our phones. But what if those moments of boredom are actually valuable? Today’s episode of Office Hours is the first of my three-part series on The Meaning of Your Life , about boredom and how learning to sit with it can help us reconnect with reflection, insight, and the search for meaning. I often talk about the trap of trying to eliminate discomfort from our lives. Boredom is no different. When we constantly distract ourselves, we miss the very mental space where insight and reflection occur. The truth is that boredom can be a gift. One that opens the door to deeper thought and a clearer sense of meaning. — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (04:02) Why we need to get better at being bored (07:40) Research on boredom (10:55) Why time slows down when we’re bored (14:33) The benefits of boredom (18:20) How Tolstoy found meaning (23:49) The doom loop (26:33) A different orientation to your devices (30:46) The practice of boredom (36:37) Q&A: What is a highly sensitive person? (39:20) Q&A: Should you “trust God’s plan” when looking for a partner? (42:38) Q&A: How do you avoid wasting your time and talent? — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427 • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind: https://dtg.sites.fas.harvard.edu/WILSON%20ET%20AL
Some of the experiences that scare us most are also the ones that can change us for the better. The right kind of challenge increases confidence, deepens courage, helps us feel more fully alive, and connects us to a deeper sense of meaning. But not all risk is the same, and learning the difference matters. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why deliberately stepping outside your comfort zone is almost always beneficial when approached wisely. I discuss how to distinguish bravery from recklessness, how to think about fear in a healthier way, and how to identify challenges that are genuinely right for you. Because our fears are deeply personal, the challenges that build happiness and meaning differ for each of us, and only you can decide which ones are right for you. But I offer advice to help you uncover what is most beneficial to you. If you’re ready to discover what else can give your life meaning, pre-order my new book The Meaning of Your Life , available March 31. — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:57) Why you should find your “running of the bulls” (13:37) Bravery vs. recklessness (16:50) When the benefits of risk actually arrive (19:20) Find your running of the bulls (22:31) Envision facing the danger (24:54) Make a plan (31:27) Q&A: How to know if it’s time for a new job (33:23) Q&A: Preparing for the death of a loved one (34:55) Q&A: Giving advice without offending — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427 • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/w/arthur-brooks • The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness : <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-E
Codie Sanchez (founder of Contrarian Thinking and author of Main Street Millionaire ) believes ownership changes lives. Her mission is bold and specific: create one million business owners. But beneath that mission is a deeper argument about how taking control of your life can help you not only be more successful, but happier. In this episode of Office Hours , Codie and I explore her philosophy of happiness, built around three requirements: progress, freedom, and ownership. We explore what those ideas can mean to each of us personally. Why earning your own money shapes your sense of agency. Why responsibility, taken voluntarily, can increase satisfaction. And why ownership is not just about assets, but about how you take responsibility for your life. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet http://www.davidprotein.com/arthur — Where to find Codie Sanchez: • Website: https://codiesanchez.com • X: https://x.com/Codie_Sanchez • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/codiesanchezbiz • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5fI3kxC-ewZ6ZXEYgznM7g • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/codiesanchez • Contrarian Thinking: https://www.contrarianthinking.co More from Codie: Codie hosts an annual 3-day virtual workshop to help you find, buy, and build a business… and it’s happening this Feb 20-22! Come learn what Wall Street (and your boss) hope you never learn: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML_BDYT26 . — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: <a h
Today’s topic: love. Forget Valentine’s Day—where romance only happens once a year. Try my new book, The Meaning of Your Life , out March 31, where I describe how to make love lifelong. Many people today feel discouraged about love. Fewer people are getting married, fewer are falling in love, and more are opting out of romance altogether. This isn’t just a personal problem—it’s a cultural one. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore what’s happening to romantic love and why it matters so deeply to our sense of meaning in life. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom, I examine what love actually is, what happens when we fall in love, and why heartbreak is often a necessary part of learning to love well. I also share three practical rules for finding love in a time when many people are afraid to risk it at all. This episode isn’t about dating advice or quick fixes. It’s about understanding love as one of the most powerful paths to meaning, growth, and a life well lived, even when it doesn’t come easily. — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (03:34) Arthur and Ester’s love story (06:44) Why entrepreneurial love stories are dwindling (07:44) Data on the decline in love, marriage, and sex (11:10) What happens when you’re falling in love (23:37) Why relationships don’t work out (26:42) The mystical side of romantic love (30:40) What love is and why the English language falls short of explaining it (35:10) Love lessons from the Greeks (40:25) Rule 1: Take more risks (48:01) Rule 2: Look for your complement (52:02) Rule 3: Don’t fear the breakup (55:52) Q&A: Are there different types of decision-makers (57:10) Q&A: The effects of cold plunges — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Your-Life-Finding-Emptiness/dp/0593545427 • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale •Understanding the Science of Love: A Practical Guide: <a href="https://learn.arth
If you’ve been feeling empty or lonely and are looking for immediate solutions, I hope today’s episode helps—and if you want to go deeper, you can order my new book, The Meaning of Your Life , out March 31. Today’s topic: the loneliness epidemic. We know more people than ever before, but do we actually know them? In a world of constant connection, many people still feel unseen, unknown, and disconnected from those around them. In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why loneliness has become so widespread and how it shows up in our relationships. I talk about the difference between being known and being understood, why feeling understood matters so much for happiness, and how modern habits and technologies can make it easier to stay in touch while avoiding real connection. Change means pushing back against our instincts and doing things that feel like the opposite of what we want. That can sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. In this episode, I share four simple habits that, with practice, become easier and help lay the groundwork for more meaningful relationships. If you’ve been feeling lonely, this episode explores what happens when we stop waiting for that feeling to fix itself. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet http://www.davidprotein.com/arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction (04:31) What Edgar Allan Poe’s life reveals about loneliness (07:39) The difference between being known and being understood (09:43) Why feeling known is essential for happiness (12:38) What fMRI studies reveal about being understood (15:33) Give what you want to get in relationships (17:01) Why being known by your spouse matters for happiness (18:30) Why loneliness is rising among young people and the role of technology (19:27) How loneliness becomes self-reinforcing (21:08) Strat